This is the tale of young Terry Swann Who came here for a while, and now is almost gone Six years he waited, for a trip to this place To see how he loves it, just look at his face As a boss he is great, he's honest and fair He gets lots of hassle, and it shows in his hair An outdoor man, with very strange hobbies No. 1 being - causing aggro for zobbies If you ever want transport, just ask for a wagon Go forth and multiply, responds the cockney dragon He is often called a bit of a flapper Truth is, he never flaps, just hides in the crapper On his sports, such as Tai Kwan Do He was doing fine, till he knackered his toe After work, he jogs home to keep himself fit Cos, if he takes the camp bike, Dot gives him shit This man can be very nasty, if something gets his goat Once while out on a junk trip, he kicked a bloody great hole in the boat When we play against the Ghurkas, he likes a playful bet He say's to Brian Taylor "We'll beat the bleeders yet" At home he is a sociable bloke, I'm sure you will agree If you've been to one of his parties, you're a luckier sod than me All he ever talks about at work, rest or play Is his house back in Lincoln, 8000 miles away For those who haven't seen it, I'll give you some gen It's really an old mud hut in the middle of an overgrown fen In Hong Kong Terry's been nowhere, except a cafe in Yuen Long Two coffees and a doughnut, please my dear, he sings his weekly song When Pete brings home his girlfriend, Terry and Dot go out It's not so much the gooseberries, he's forgotten what it's all about Soon he leaves for Wattisham, home of the Phantom jet His new boss is happy already, about the exchange posting he hopes to get Look on the bright side Terry, while you fly to that place you hate You could still be stuck here with us, the heat, the smell and 28!